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A
free monthly newsletter about living with greater inner peace and happiness and
seeing the splendor in your life instead of what is wrong or lacking. This
newsletter is based on the workshops by
Kevin Stacey. For previous issues, please visit the archives at
http://www.TrainRightInc.com.
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Copyright 2002 Kevin Stacey. All rights reserved.
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In this issue:
1.
Monthly Article: The four choices to take responsibility
for
the things that chronically bother you instead of sweating
over them.
2.
About the author.
3.
Privacy statement.
4.
Subscription
information.
================================================
1. The four choices to take responsibility for the things
that chronically bother you instead of sweating over them.
We
all have situations in our lives that are not the way we would
like them to be. Unfortunately, many people hold onto their
problems far too long and allow them to chronically bother them.
I find that many folks are experts in their own problems. Not in solving them,
but in thinking about them and describing them to others! The hallmark of the
mature adult is the willingness to
accept full responsibility for all of life’s circumstances. If something is
bothering you, then it’s your problem; you own it and
are responsible for taking action to resolve it.
Here are the choices:
§
Choice #1. Change it if you can- attempt to
communicate.
We can’t change people, places, or things; the only thing we
can control is ourselves. Since many of the things that chronically bother us
revolve around interpersonal situations,
we often forget that other people are not mind readers, and
that we solve communication problems by communicating. So, we try. We let the
other person know what it is we want that
we’re not getting, or what we’re getting that we don’t want. Communicating
in an assertive, professional manner lets
everyone know where you stand. You can’t control the other person’s
reaction, and you may not change his or her behavior, but communicating helps
you feel better and brings you to the point where you can say, “I’ve done
everything I can.”
If you’re unable to change the situation:
§
Choice #2. Accept it/let to go.
Just make a decision to stop sweating over it. Interrupt
yourself when you find you are about to talk or think about it. Remind yourself
what it’s costing you to keep giving the situation your limited energy. It’s
helpful here to use a specific phrase that you say to yourself or some other
mental routine to stop yourself from focusing in the problem. Letting
go can be a process, and it’s perfectly natural to have to express your
emotions about a situation before being able to
let it go. After allowing yourself
some time to do that, ask yourself the question, “At what point is this
becoming counter-productive?”
§
Choice #3. Reframe it or look at it
differently. The situation is the same, but you transcend it by looking at it in
a different light or from a different angle. This is what Stephen Covey
would call a paradigm shift. A reframe can be as simple as expressing gratitude
for what is right instead of focusing on what is wrong. With other people’s
behavior, it may be seeing their vulnerabilities, insecurities, challenges, or
the
innocence in their actions.
§
Choice #4. Leave it/walk away.
Sometimes you just have to say, “I’m outa here.” Some
situations are just not meant to be. Often there is no one to blame, but life
changes and the best choice may be to move on
to something new. Give yourself the permission to do that.
This choice takes courage, but in many cases, you end up better off in the long
run. I think we all know of people that should have left a situation 10 years
ago, but for some reason stay
and are chronically bothered, either inwardly or outwardly complaining. What
does that cost them?
To be able to make one of these choices, it’s imperative that you don’t deny
or fight your current reality. You’ll notice you’re
doing this when you find yourself saying the words “I can’t believe
________.” Believe it, because that’s the reality you’re currently faced
with. A better question to ask yourself is, “What’s the next best thing I
can do?”
For those of you with a spiritual
connection in your life, you may recognize the Serenity Prayer intertwined in
the above choices.
Isn’t serenity the opposite emotion of being bothered? So we pray
for that and say, “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things
I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know
the difference.”
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2.
Kevin Stacey is a professional speaker/trainer who works with organizations that
want to enhance their bottom line by investing
in their most important resource, their people, through training programs that
increase their effectiveness and eliminate negativity and self-induced problems.
He develops and delivers captivating programs packed with practical information
that seminar participants can immediately put to use. With an extensive
background in
clinical healthcare through both civilian and military settings and the managed
care industry, he has developed a variety of training programs and presented to
over 5,000 participants in 26 states and
3 nations.
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Contact
Information:
Kevin M. Stacey
Trainright, Inc.
43 Kosta St.
Worcester, MA 01607
1-800-603-7168
E-mail:
Kevin@KevinStacey.com
Web:
www.KevinStacey.com or www.TrainRightInc.com
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For a
free consulting call to determine the most appropriate customized training
program for your organization and its
particular challenges, call 1-800-603-7168.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
For an
on-line demo video clip of Kevin in action, click here:
http://www.kevinstacey.com/On-line%20demo%20video.htm
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Click
below for the curriculum/program highlights of Kevin’s
corporate training programs:
http://www.kevinstacey.com/Programs.htm
=================================================
3.
PRIVACY STATEMENT: Your name or e-mail address will never be distributed, sold,
traded, or rented, to anyone without your permission.
=================================================
4.
Subscription Information
This newsletter is sent only to Subscribers. If your
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===========================================================
©
Copyright 2002 Kevin Stacey/TrainRight, Inc.
This
newsletter and its content are proprietary products. All rights reserved. I
encourage sharing this newsletter in whole if copyright and attribution are
always included.
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