Create a Stop Doing List and Start Making Some Cuts

“If you want something new, you have to stop doing something old.” -Peter Drucker

Just about all of us would be relieved and have more breathing space by making some cuts in our lives. We only get our time in life under control to the extent that we cut out the lower-level activities, the things that are not enjoyable or moving our lives forward, and things that are not the best use of our time. There are also items that deep down, we probably do out of guilt and they cause us angst. It makes a real difference to think about all these items and create a stop-doing list, which in many ways is more impactful than a to-do list.

The bottom line is we can’t do it all. There are more things to be done, and potential things to be done, than time to get them done in. There’s a limit. A cap. Trying to fight that reality is fruitless.

As you ask yourself about those items you want to cut out to give yourself more space, it’s best to ask quickly and answer quickly, within a second or two. If you make it longer, it’s more likely that you’ll talk yourself out of it and go around in circles.

The most challenging cuts are the things that we do for other people or organizations on an ongoing basis that we need to get out of and stop doing. It takes a difficult conversation to set this new boundary. This can cause stress and anxiety. The pain/pleasure spectrum comes into play here. We always move away from things that we perceive as painful and towards things we perceive as less painful. We have to associate more pain with continuing to do the things we don’t want to do, and view that as more painful than the discomfort of the conversation in which you declare that you’ll no longer be doing it.

One good way to break the news to somebody of your new strategy is to say, “I’ve been doing some thinking and reevaluating. I know in the past I’ve always done this for you, but moving forward, this is going to have to come from somewhere else and will no longer be my responsibility.” If they push back it’s best to just hold your ground and keep restating, “Sorry, that doesn’t work for me anymore.” You may worry about the state of your relationship with this person, but I think we need to be more forthcoming and start putting ourselves first more often. I think there are more people who put others first than the opposite. There are also more people who do a better job of taking care of others and need to start taking care of themselves than the opposite.

It’s even easier and just as impactful to start outsourcing or delegating items. There is also a time/money spectrum in life. In different times and stages of life we have more time than money, at other points we have more money than time. Sometimes it’s worth spending some money to have others do things for you so you can gain more time for the things that are important.

What could you outsource in your life? What could you pay someone else to do? Could you hire a cleaner to clean the house?

Could you hire a teenager to do some paperwork or administrative work for you? Could you find someone online as a virtual assistant for certain random assignments? Could you use a delivery service for your grocery shopping? I recently ran into a clothes cleaning company that has a pickup and delivery service right from your house.

The stop-doing list is so exciting. Write one today!