Copyright 2003 Kevin Stacey. All rights reserved.

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In this issue:

1. Monthly Article: Mental Toughness
2. About the author.
3. Privacy statement.
4. Subscription information.

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1. The 4 "R’s" of Mental Toughness

Very little of our contentment and success in life is physical; it’s 99% mental. It’s the mentally tough who have peace of mind, who can persevere through challenging times without giving themselves an ulcer and who don’t make things any worse than they have to be.

There are 4 key practices that the mentally tough employ on a regular basis. They are recognition, resistance, responsibility and replacement. In last month’s newsletter, I touched on recognition (noticing what you are thinking about/dwelling on at the moment) and resistance (refusing to analyze every thought just because it came into your mind). This month I want to introduce you to the next two practices of responsibility and replacement.

Responsibility means accepting that we each create all of the thoughts we think; they are not created by outside circumstances. For example, say there is a person or situation that is bothering you. Yes, you need to feel your feelings to be able to move past them, and the mentally tough don’t deny themselves those feelings. But a mentally weak person may hold onto the feelings until they become counter-productive. They justify their feelings by saying, "Of course I’m upset, what he/she did or what happened was just unbelievable!" A mentally tough person would say, "Why should I give this person/event free rent inside of my head? It’s just not worth it! Why should I think this way? Is it helping me?" The key word here is "I." The mentally tough take responsibility, and while they may not be able to change the situation, they realize that they can change their thoughts and eliminate some of the pain or anxiety they are facing. If you’re not in charge of what goes on inside of your own head, than who or what is?

Replacement involves coming up with a better thought that deflates and diffuses the thought causing you pain or anxiety. You do this by creating a counter-argument or by poking holes in the logic of the harmful train of thought. An easy way to do this is to give names to the various "voices" that operate in your head, since it is easier to argue with something that has a name. For example, we all have our irrational worst case scenario voice, the voice that jumps to conclusions, the fortune teller, the mind reader and the hysterical, melodramatic exaggerator. We know all too well what these voices would say. However, what would a compassionate mentor say? An understanding friend? A kindly aunt? A Hollywood agent? How about Mr. Spock from Star Trek? ("It’s not logical! It’s not logical!") Replacement means giving these voices a chance to be heard and listening to what they have to say. Just about all of us can find something to say back to ourselves. Some of my favorites are, "Maybe, maybe not. How do I know for sure? What evidence do I have? I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it."

Try adding these practices to those you learned last month. Once you get recognition, resistance, replacement and responsibility working together, you will quickly notice just how mentally tough you can be. Good luck with it!

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2. Kevin Stacey is a professional speaker/trainer who works with organizations that want to enhance their bottom line by investing in their most important resource, their people, through training programs that increase their effectiveness and eliminate negativity and self-induced problems. He develops and delivers captivating programs packed with practical information that seminar participants can immediately put to use. With an extensive background in clinical healthcare through both civilian and military settings and the managed care industry, he has developed a variety of training programs and 300 professional speaking engagements for over 8,000 audience members throughout the United States and internationally. 
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Contact Information:
Kevin M. Stacey

TrainRight, Inc.

43 Kosta St.

Worcester, MA 01607

1-800-603-7168

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Click below for the curriculum/program highlights of Kevin’s corporate training programs:

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3. PRIVACY STATEMENT: Your name or e-mail address will never be distributed, sold, traded, or rented, to anyone without your permission.

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4. Subscription Information
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© Copyright 2003 Kevin Stacey/TrainRight, Inc.

This newsletter and its content are proprietary products. All rights reserved. I encourage sharing this newsletter in whole if copyright and attribution are always included.