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A free monthly newsletter about living with greater inner
peace and happiness and seeing the splendor in your life
instead of what is wrong or lacking. This newsletter is based
on the workshops by Kevin Stacey. For previous issues, please
visit the archives at
http://www.TrainRightInc.com.
Our
subscriber count is now up to 700. Thanks for your support
and forwarding this to others; that's how it grows. If someone
forwarded this issue to you and you'd like your own copy,
simply click here and send this e-mail:
mailto:Subscribe@KevinStacey.com
Copyright 2001 Kevin Stacey. All rights reserved.
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In this issue:
1.
Monthly Article: Banish Worry
2.
The readers write.
3.
About the author.
4.
Privacy statement.
5.
Subscription
information.
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1. Banish Worry
“Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles, it empties
today of its strength.” –Anonymous
* View worry as harmful. How do you
feel when you’re worrying?
Have you ever changed the outcome of something by worrying
about it? Worry is so harmful because when we worry, we think
about, focus on, and visualize exactly what we don’t want to
happen or what we fear will happen. Our thoughts are little
magnets that attract the experiences that coincide with our
dominant thinking. In essence, we become what we think about
most of the time. One of the key motivating factors for doing
the hard work necessary to overcome any negative habit is to
ask ourselves the question, “What is this costing me?”
* Shift from what you fear to what you
desire. Many people are
experts in describing in vivid detail exactly what they don’t
want to happen or fear will happen to them. Very few are
practiced at thinking about, describing, and talking with
others about what they would like to happen or how they would
like things to turn out. Since our expectations are so
powerful, the goal is to catch yourself and quickly shift your
focus. The way I do it is simply to say, “Oops, I’m starting to
worry about situation ______, how would I like that to turn
out?” So subtle, but so transforming.
* Define your worries clearly in writing. Much
of our worry is
generalized anxiety and we don’t pinpoint the exact cause.
When you write things out, you can clearly see the cognitive distortion. For
more details, see last month’s newsletter.
* Schedule worry time. It seems
absurd, but if worry has been
a long-term ingrained habit, it’s unrealistic for some people
to expect to stop cold turkey. An effective way to gradually
break the habit is to set aside a time period where you make
it okay to worry, but set firm boundaries for the other times
where you refuse to engage in the practice. During your
designated worry time, you just let it all out - all of the
worst-case scenarios you can imagine. When you catch yourself
worrying outside of your designated worry time, say to
yourself, “I have to wait until 8-8:30 pm to worry about this.”
An interesting variation on this technique is to force yourself
to worry about a situation for a designated time. After 20
minutes, you’ll probably be saying, “Enough already!” This
approach can help you get something out of your system much
faster than worrying about it for 5 minutes 20 times in a day!
* Accept the worst and take action to
improve on it. Shift
from the mindset of “what if” to “here’s what I’ll do.” For
example, instead of being afraid to stay home alone due to your
worry that someone will break in, think instead about what you
would do if someone did actually break in. Say to yourself,
“Okay,if someone breaks in here’s what I’m going to do. The
alarm I’ve just installed will go off and that will bring help.
In the meantime, I will lock myself in an interior room. While
I’m there, I will call for additional help.” If you are worried
about a layoff, say to yourself, “If I lose my job, the first
3 things I’ll do are _______, and what I can do right now to
prepare myself is ________.”
* Take action or surrender your right to
worry. A distinction
must be made between worry and concern. If you’re concerned
about something, then you’re willing to take action to improve
the circumstance. You’re looking for new solutions and asking
yourself proactive questions. On the other hand, worrying is
like running on a treadmill; it gives you something to do, but
doesn’t get you anywhere. Make a commitment to yourself that
if you’re not willing to do something about your problem, then
you relinquish your right to worry about it. Some say, “If I
can do something about it, why worry. If I can’t do something
about it, why worry?”
* For those with a spiritual connection:
Let go and let God.
Do we really think God would want us to worry? In the book of
Psalms, God tells us: “Be still, and know that I am God.” To
me, being still means not worrying, and to the extent that I
recognize that God is God and that I am only human, I will
trust in him and not worry. So, if I’m worrying, I’m not
letting God be God in my life; I’m trying to be in charge.
Whenever I look back in my life on the things that I have
given over to God, they have always worked out perfectly,
so I’m reminded that there really is no need to worry.
Some say, “If you pray, don’t worry. If you worry, don’t pray.”
It can only be one or the other.
Try using the above techniques to overcome the negative habit
of worrying. Turn your thoughts into positive expectations of
what you want, instead of negative worries about what you fear.
I know it’s not easy, but I hope this makes it a little bit easier!
In next month’s
issue: How to quiet the mind and put
it into “neutral.”
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2.
The readers write.
I've included a small section below to share the thoughts of
some of our readers. I'm including them because I feel the
reflections are healthy, encouraging, and beneficial to others.
- From Bill P:
”Your 'snowballing' article made me stop and think, 'What am
I doing all this negative thinking for?' You gave some good
examples as to how to fight back, or how to deal with it. On
a scale of 1-10, I'd rate this one a ten. Splendid!”
-
From Pat L:
”All my life, I've been plagued with thoughts of every nature
and description that ruled my life. I am, fortunately, very intelligent and well
educated, yet powerless to free myself
from these thoughts. I finally sought professional help and was immediately
prescribed one of the selective seratonin reuptake inhibitors (Paxil).
After taking this medication for about six
weeks, I can finally read newsletters such as yours with
clarity and insight and a desire to put such suggestions into
action. Words pale when it comes to describing the joy I felt
at FINALLY finding concrete methods to manage such wearisome
and cumbersome thinking. Albeit, the medication was a necessary
first step, for it cleared the way and stilled enough thoughts
to allow reason to enter.”
-
From Serafina D.:
“I
really appreciate your Newsletter, and I believe in writing
it down! I keep a journal, I have for about 10 years and now
with my husband battling cancer. My life is a little stressed,
but having reminders keeps me going. Thank you.”
-
From Rita P.:
“Greetings,
Kevin - I welcome your Newsletters – they are so
helpful, informative, and needed in these troubled times of uncertainty and
unrest. I have a tendency to blow things way
out of proportion, and not even be aware of it. I need to
be reminded to put everything in perspective and view
situations in a logical and rational manner.”
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3.
Kevin Stacey is a professional speaker/trainer who works
with organizations that want to enhance their bottom line by
investing in their most important resource, their people,
through training programs that increase their effectiveness
and eliminate negativity and self-induced problems. He develops and delivers
captivating programs packed with practical
information that seminar participants can immediately put
to use. With an extensive background in clinical healthcare
through both civilian and military settings and the managed
care industry, he has developed a variety of training programs
and presented to over 5,000 participants in 26 states and 3
nations.
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Contact
Information:
Kevin M. Stacey
Trainright, Inc.
43 Kosta St.
Worcester, MA 01607
(617) 680-2600
E-mail:
Kevin@KevinStacey.com
Web:
www.KevinStacey.com or www.TrainRightInc.com
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For a
free consulting call to determine the most appropriate customized training
program for your organization and its
particular challenges, call (617) 680-2600.
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For an
on-line demo video clip of Kevin in action, click here:
http://www.kevinstacey.com/On-line%20demo%20video.htm
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Click
below for the curriculum/program highlights of Kevin’s
corporate training programs:
http://www.kevinstacey.com/Programs.htm
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4.
PRIVACY STATEMENT: Your name or e-mail address will never be distributed, sold,
traded, or rented, to anyone without your permission.
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5.
Subscription Information
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© Copyright 2001 Kevin Stacey/TrainRight, Inc.
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